WHAT LOVE IS NOT

What is love? There are as many definitions as there are people in love, I'm sure. Perhaps the true and only way to know what love is, is to know what it is NOT. Love is not controlling, rude, mean, or abusive. It does not tear you down~it builds you up. When God instituted the first marriage in the garden, He did not tell Adam it was acceptable to control or beat his wife, Eve. He gave Eve to Adam as a helpmeet, to be loved and treasured. God made us ladies very emotional, to a point that words are very important to us. Real men get this, weak men do not.

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS BEING ABUSED PLEASE CALL 1(800) 799 SAFE

Every 15 seconds a woman is abused in America. This should not be the case. If we, as parents, teach our children what is acceptable within a relationship the future statistics may change for the better. Parents of sons may have an even bigger responsibility to be sure that we do not teach our young men that it is ok to be controlling or abusive to women. Abuse can be in the form of emotional or physical, and the effects are not always visible. Dating abuse is also on the rise in America. 1 in 5 teens in a serious relationship reports having been hit, slapped, or pushed by a partner.*Liz Claiborne Inc., "Study on Teen Dating Abuse," (Teenage Research Unlimited, 2005), http://www.loveisnotabuse.com (available February 1, 2007). There is a good chance that you have been affected by some kind of abuse in your life, either directly or indirectly. It is time that we stand up against this most 'acceptable' form of abuse. We are all guilty of pushing some kind of domestic abuse under the rug. But I ask you, if it were your daughter...what would you do? Our inaction tells these women that it's ok to be abused and it also tells the abusers that they can keep on keepin' on! ENOUGH!!!! If an opportunity to directly help an abused woman doesn't present itself there are still options. You can donate to a local women's shelter or to an organization that helps abused woman get out of their situation.

So, on this Valentine's Day, won't you make a pledge to help an abused woman know what love really is? Because, chances are, if she is in an abusive relationship, she probably has no idea what true love really is. You can go to the DR. Phil website to find out other ways to help. http://drphil.com/shows/page/end_the_silence/

Vanilla Pudding Cinnamon Rolls

Let me start this post by saying that you will need some self control to keep from eating the entire batch of these awesome cinnamon rolls! I first made them about two years ago and everyone, except for my picky 15 year old daughter, loves them! If you have never tried to make a yeast dough, you absolutely must. Aside from making you feel accomplished, it will make your house smell AAAAAmazing! Ok, here is the recipe and technique.

Rolls:
½ cup warm water
2 tablespoons active dry yeast
2 tablespoons sugar
3 ½ ounce package instant vanilla pudding
½ cup butter, melted
2 eggs
1 teaspoon salt
6+ cups flour

Filling:
1 cup butter, softened to room temperature
2 cups brown sugar
4 teaspoons cinnamon

Frosting:
8 ounces cream cheese
½ cup butter, softened to room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 cups confectioner’s sugar
2-3 tablespoons milk

In a small bowl combine water, yeast and sugar. Stir until dissolved. Set aside. In large bowl, take pudding mix and prepare according to package directions. Add butter, eggs and salt. Mix well. Then add yeast mixture. Blend. Gradually add flour; knead until smooth. Do not overflour the dough! It should be very soft but not sticky. Place in a greased bowl. Cover and let rise until doubled. Then roll out on floured board to 34 X 21 inches in size. Take 1 cup soft butter and spread over surface. In bowl, mix 2 cups brown sugar and 4 teaspoons cinnamon. Sprinkle over the top. Roll up very tightly. With a knife put a notch every 1 1/2 inches. Cut with thread or serrated knife. Place on lightly greased cookie sheet 1 inch apart. Cover and let rise until double again. Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes. Remove when they start to turn golden (don’t overbake). Frost warm rolls with cream cheese frosting (combine butter and cream cheese and mix well, then add vanilla and sugar and mix again, then add milk for desired consistency). Makes about 24 very large rolls.

~If anyone tries these, let me know what ya think!

FORGIVENESS

In light of certain local events I feel compelled by The Holy Spirit to write this post. Here is a bit of background: on Friday 2/4 a newborn baby was found in a restroom toilet in a local arena~the baby was rescued by cleaning staff and is expected to make a full recovery. Yesterday, 2/8, the baby's mother turned herself in and was arrested~she is not a scared teen, as I thought, but a 24 year old married mother of a 4 year old. She has since claimed amnesia~which is preposterous~and that she never knew she was pregnant. As a mother of 6, two of which are step children whose mother has very little contact with them, I was and am appalled at the actions this "mother" took to get rid of her unwanted baby boy. I am also like many others, who think the worst of her. It seems that there are many who are condemning her to hell, as if we have that power. Last night I felt the need to pray for this woman. I was struck with the thought that I should see her as God sees her, and He STILL loves her! Forgiving her of her actions does not make them okay or give her a 'get out of jail free' card. It does, however, show Christ to her and the world. If we call ourselves followers of the most High God, then how can we not forgive her...He will, she need only ask.

"He that cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would reach heaven; for everyone has need to be forgiven." ~Lance Morrow

"I have discovered that most people who tell me that they cannot forgive a person who wronged them are handicapped by a mistaken understanding of what forgiving is."
~Lewis B. Smedes

I realize I may get a lot of grief for this, but...oh well. It isn't the first time, and will not be the last, I caused a debate. I just want us to stop and think about what we are doing with our words and thoughts. Satan would have nothing more than for us to hate her, along with anyone who sides with her. The bottom line is that she is still a person, still a child of God, and~hold onto your britches~she is still someone that you may see in Heaven.

So, I'm not saying that we should at all excuse her behavior, which I am confident God hates, rather that we should forgive her. I have been actively working on forgiveness in my life over the last year or so. I see my stepsons hurt by the things they have been forced to go through and that makes me angry, and bitter, which could easily translate to hatred & unforgiveness. It has not been an easy thing for this stubborn, control freak to tackle...but I must, just as we all must. I must be an example to my children of how we should live. I don't want my children living with bitterness, hatred and unforgiveness...do you?

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."~Matthew 6:14-15

Well, I have said my piece. I hope this opens dialogue on this subject but I ask for comments to be kept kind. Remember, it's not WHAT we say but HOW we say it.

The Throne Room of God

The book of Revelation has always scared me, mainly because in the past I knew, without knowing Him, I was well on my way to hell. Since giving my life to Jesus 3 1/2 years ago I have avoided really studying this one book in the Bible. Call it fear or ignorance. Whichever it was, it was wrong. We cannot pick and choose what we want to learn, or believe & follow, when it comes to the Word of God. True, knowledge is power, but revelation from a relationship with Him is beyond powerful. When we allow satan to put fear of the Word in our minds then we allow him to have the power. I have since learned this firsthand.

During today's study I could barely contain my tears and, upon standing, I realized just how much The Holy Spirit had moved through that lesson. The picture above is an artist's rendition of the Throne Room of God that John described in Revelation 4. The fact that God never leaves His throne is beyond amazing. Just ponder on that...He NEVER leaves. No matter what you or I go through in our lives, He is there. He has always been there...even before you were born. As Beth Moore said in today's video, "We must live a theocentric (God-centered) life. Living a self-centered life will never lead to fulfillment." How true that statement is! I know that from serious personal experience. In order to live the victorious Christian life, we must make Him the center of our lives. There is no other way.

I write this to myself, as well as to you. In the coming weeks my circumstances are sure to be trying. The only way I can get through what is coming is to make Him the center of my life, as well as the lives of my children. This is the revelation God has given me and, as much as I wish I weren't, I am scared of what is to come. The only way I can get over that fear is to give it to Him, for He has not given us the spirit of fear. No matter what happens I know that God has placed me where I am for a reason; to influence those whom He has entrusted me with and to learn from these things, among many others I do not know. In the end He will get all the praise and glory. I know that God will not give me more than I can handle, or rather, more than He can handle through me.

WASTE NOT, WANT NOT

I don't know about y'all, but I don't have lots of money to burn. And honestly, if I did, I wouldn't. I was brought up to me mindful of what I spend and I try to pass on that same mindset to my children, as well as anyone who is willing to learn. Some of the things we do in our family may seem a bit odd to most but it allows us to be more at ease and less stressed than what I would consider most Americans are in today's society. God has given us blessings to be a blessing, not to be selfish with those blessings. Being consumers and materialistic has gotten this country in a lot of debt, and I presume the same for the majority of American families. Let's stop trying to "keep up with the Joneses" and be better stewards of the money God has seen fit to bless us with, huh?

In this post, and future posts, I will share tips on how to be cheap. Let me start by saying that anyone who wants to start this endeavor must be willing to completely change the way they think, eat, shop, live, etc. Get rid of any and all ideas you may have of 'cheap' people being poor and/or dirty. That is almost never the case. By looking at me and my family on any normal outing you would not think of us as being a 'cheap' family. Any family can do this, if they really want it. I choose to do this so that I can stay home for my children. This is a big deal for my husband and me, as we think that is the best way to raise our family. If I worked we would have more money, yes, but the chaos would far outweigh any money we would have. And what would we do with that money? ~eat out more, shop more, be home even less? No thanks, I will pass. Having said that, here are what I consider to be my top five tips when beginning a 'cheap,' or frugal, lifestyle. Please leave any comments or questions you would like. Just remember, if you don't have something nice to say choose to say nothing at all.:) This way of life has worked for thousands of families in generations past and has worked quite well for my family for three years. It's a choice, and a necessary one for some. Be blessed!

1~MEAL PLAN: In my family of 8 I plan every meal down to the snacks according to what I have on hand and what is on sale at my local grocery store. I rarely use coupons, although I have, because I tend to shop for more fresh items and less prepackaged foods. The kids know that the kitchen is not open 24 hours a day. We have three set meals and occasional snacks. That's it~no sodas, premade cookies or cakes. I make 2-3 desserts a week, sometimes. There are some weeks when I make none. My monthly budget for a family of 8, with no coupons, averages $400-$450. That includes pet food, soap, cleaning items, paper products, etc. I also only shop at the store closest to my home. The prices may seem higher to some but when you calculate the price of gas and wear & tear on the car to get to another store it makes better sense to stay close to home. When shopping ask yourself, "Can I reuse this packaging?" If the answer is "no" you should think twice about buying it. In my opinion we throw too much stuff in the landfill. Buy things in glass jars, or other type reusable packaging. Just put more thought into it, that's all.

2~NO ADDED EXTRAS: We have very little unnecessary things around our home. No cable, no new car, no fancy clothes or expensive video games. We do have video games, but they were very cheaply bought in good working condition. We do subscribe to an online monthly movie rental and we do occasionally go out to eat and even to the movies...but VERY rarely. If both parents are working just so the family can have these things the parents should really reevaluate the situation. Cable or HDTV or a new, fancy car or big, nice house isn't necessary, having parental guidance for the children is. Downsize...your stress level will drop and you will be able to rest.

3~BUY USED 90% OF THE TIME: We buy used as much as possible for most things. Why? Because it's just plain cheaper. There is nothing wrong with Goodwill clothes or dishes. When we can't find what we need at Goodwill or another thrift store or at yard sales, we go to reduced-price stores like Ross or TJ Maxx. I also happen to love any store with "dollar" in the name! Those stores just make me happy! When it comes to shopping unnecessarily follow this rule "If you don't go in a store, you won't buy anything." Simple, huh? Only go shopping when you need something-end of story.

4~LEARN HOW TO MAKE THINGS FROM SCRATCH: I make lots of things myself, food wise and otherwise. I bake bread, but I still buy loaf bread from the store because the kids like it better(you can't win 'em all), laundry detergent, fabric softener, automatic dish detergent, most cleaning supplies, deodorant(although I'm the only one who will use it-lol), my own face cleansing oil, etc. I also make most of our meals from scratch. I do, however, prefer boxed brownie mix. I'm not a complete naturalist! Anyway, what I am getting at here is that you can make anything you can buy in the store. I have just learned how to make soap using lye and oil or fat. Pretty cool, I thought! The sky's the limit. Don't be intimidated. If I can do it, anybody can.

5~REDUCE UTILITIES: Simply, in the summer keep your thermostat up (75) & just tough it out and in the winter keep it down (68) & wear layers in the house. It won't kill you or your kids, trust me. Also, turn the lights off when you're not in a room! I used to get so irritated with my dad for saying that to me at least 100 times a day but I get it now. TURN THEM OFF!!!!!! Did you know that things continue to use electricity while plugged into an outlet, even when they're turned off. Unplug anything that you can when not is use. Obviously, you cannot unplug the refrigerator, but you can unplug the TV, hair dryers, etc. Get in the habit and watch your electric bill go down. Get a clothes line to use when weather permits or indoor drying racks to use when the weather does not. Drying clothes indoors in the winter also helps with the problem of dry air. I sometimes put the rack over the heat vents at night and the clothes are dry by morning. Where water in concerned, just use less. You've all heard it, turn off the water when brushing your teeth, but it's true. Take shorter showers or baths with less water. Only wash full loads of dishes and clothes. Just use your brain. Conserve a little bit here and there at a time and build on it each month. It's doable. My children and I also only take baths every other day. It saves water and it's better for your skin and hair and isn't gross at all. Trust me.

So, there you have it. I have many other tips that will be harder for a newbie to swallow but these are the basics. If anyone wants any of the above recipes just let me know! I am eager to share things I have learned with anyone who wants to learn them.