Friday, May 27, 2011

I'm one of them...

I thought people who loved Jesus were freaky! I admit I did my share of rolling my eyes and steering clear of people that constantly talked about their Jesus. I found myself whispering under my breath, "Enough already" or "Here they go again". I mean total FREAKS! It was okay that I was a freak for fun with friends or my family, but those were things I could see and touch. In my mind, Jesus was a history lesson I had heard about in my occasional childhood visits to church. He was a Sunday kind of thing and not very relevant to my present day. I was the girl that sat in Sunday school praying with a vengeance that the teacher wouldn't call on me to answer any questions. If only I had been praying as hard for my salvation...

I remember going to church with a friend of mine in middle school once during revival. For me, the 'only go to church twice a year' kind of girl, this was quite an experience. Later in life I did my own thing, without giving God even a tiny say so. At the age of 22 I started feeling Jesus wooing me, but it freaked me out!
I stopped listening to the Holy Spirit and continued to seek my security and my worth in other feel-good things. I do remember that the harder I searched, the bigger the void became. Pleasures were short lived and the constant running to fill the hole in my heart became tiring.

Nine years later I found myself in a bigger mess than even I had ever imagined. It was then that I began thinking back on those 'freaks' who had witnessed to me over the years and I knew that He was the only one who I could turn to to give me a sense of stability. I gave my life to Jesus in September of 2007 and things have been a whirlwind ever since. I get it now! I am one of those freaks. There is a good kind of freaky that just gets you talking and changing everything about your life. To be honest, at times it is just as hard as that life I had when I was searching, but now it has purpose and there is a power that comes from the One I am freaky about. A power that can get you through anything. A power that is there beside you through it all and gives you a security that nothing in the world can provide.

So now that I am one of those freaky Jesus lovers, I have a lot of people I care about that I need to be freaky for until they get it. I am sure my words, my actions, and even my blogs wreak of freak. That is okay. I have a responsibility to help plant some seeds and let it "get on you". I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for those unselfish freaks in my life. I love them!!!!! I now know that I mattered to them. More importantly, I know that with all my poor choices and my junk, there is a Jesus who desires to hang out with me. Not to punish me, but to fill the void that only He can fill.

So, for those of you who roll your eyes and cannot wait for freaks like me to hush up and leave you alone I ask you to step out of your comfort zone and hang out with the freaks. This world is full of them but make sure you hang out with the kind of freaks that you want to get on you. It may be uncomfortable at first, but it is just the thing you don't even realize you are looking for! I have been on both sides of the spectrum and, I tell you with reckless abandon, I prefer this side.

Jesus sees you, He hears you, what you say matters to Him...

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